Girlfriends Season 2 finale leaves us split on whether Joan is too much

The final three episodes of Girlfriends season 2, episodes 20, 21 and 22, left us arguing about one question more than any other: is Joan actually too much, or has she simply not found her person? Jaby Koay thinks hearing it from two men back to back is data worth examining, while Achara believes the right partner will never feel that way about her.

Before we got there, though, the finale threw several surprises at us, starting with Lynn.

Lynn's string of surprises answers how she kept her job

We'd assumed Lynn was at least bisexual. Her own description of herself as a freak made that feel like a safe bet, so it was a surprise to learn she isn't into women at all. That led to a side conversation about whether we know anyone that open who is completely straight, and about the difference between being experimental and being bi, a distinction that hadn't truly been considered before.

We agreed the show was probably playing on our assumptions about Lynn. It seemed everyone had collectively assumed what William was saying would go over well, and the surprise was that she wasn't into it.

The reveal answered a question from several episodes back: how is Lynn not fired? The run of surprises included a phone call from Sean, who was coming from out of town, his engagement, the discovery that the engagement was fake because he just didn't want to be with Joan anymore, how tall his new girlfriend was ("She's clearly a model"), a Japanese woman liking Lynn, and Lynn turning out not to be bisexual. The coup de grâce was "the fact that that was the only thing keeping her job."

The Darnell and Maya scene played out in one uncomfortable take

We'd been expecting the Darnell storyline to pay off, and the season finale delivered on the drama. The scene was praised for being shot as one continuous take, following the couple as they move through the house and in and out of rooms. It was called a really great choice because playing it in real time made it feel so uncomfortable, to the point that it was hard to even talk through.

There was a little fear for Maya when Darnell went into the next room, partly because of other work featuring the actor. He did yell at her, and since it happened off screen, the worry of hearing something awful crossed our minds, but nothing like that happened. What made it so hard was how heartbroken he was. Maya made a big mistake, she was devastated too, and she begged for another chance. Maybe they could figure it out if they really work at it, but right now he needs his space.

Jaby was floored to find out from a search that Khalil Kain had just turned 60, which by Jaby's guess, without properly checking the math, would make him about 36 when he shot this. Jaby thought he looked like he was in his 20s. Jaby also thought he handled the scene well, choosing a single moment off screen to lose it rather than getting carried away. The only part that seemed odd to Jaby was him grabbing towels on his way out.

Achara says the right person won't find Joan too much

Achara still feels the emotional cheating was the worst of it, though the kiss was not great either. Jaby added that Darnell had been in and out of their home repeatedly, connecting the dots the whole time, which makes it feel so much worse. Achara called it violating, and said seeing Maya show up devastated at Joan's place hurts.

Achara also felt for Joan, who has wanted to be in a relationship and get married since season 1. Sean coming back engaged after about eight months made it seem she wasn't good enough to marry, and then it turned out he had lied because he was too cowardly to just say he wanted to be friends. Being told she's too much also stung. Achara admitted to saying that to someone before and realizing how bad it feels, and said: "you might be a whole lot of a lot, but for the right person you won't be too much."

Achara believes the right person will love you for you, so you shouldn't have to squeeze yourself into a smaller or different box to make someone else comfortable. Achara later said someone out there will find Joan Clayton adorable and accept her as she is, before adding, "maybe I'm just projecting."

Jaby argues two people saying it is a pattern

Jaby disagreed, arguing that sometimes people do need to change, and pointed to Toni losing two assistants in 48 hours. It wasn't entirely Toni's fault, but in Jaby's view it should still give her pause. Jaby argued that if you keep striking out, something isn't right and you may need to adjust your parameters. Two people back to back told Joan she's too much, so to Jaby it's not a coincidence. "One person, that person's a jerk. Two people, okay, now that's data."

Jaby noted the two men come from completely different walks of life, one established as an architect and the other in the mailroom, yet both said the same thing. Jaby laid out examples from the episode: Joan going from inviting Chris to sleep with her to ending things within maybe 60 seconds of a phone call, when he did nothing wrong; assuming everything with Sean was the same as eight months earlier; not reading his body language as he kept backing away on the couch; and confronting him at the restaurant with his new girlfriend.

Achara agreed the Chris moment was bad, but doesn't think Joan is that dramatic or that what she asks for is too much. Jaby countered that nobody was really trying to fit her into a box, other than Sean asking her to move to New York, and that he simply ended things. Achara's point was that hearing it twice creates a temptation to make yourself smaller. Jaby's reply: if two people say your feet stink, go wash your feet.

Core identity versus constant change

Jaby described always striving to be a better version of himself, taking in data after years of putting his foot in his mouth, and learning something from each relationship. In Jaby's view changing is a necessary part of life: if you don't change, your relationship dies and you fall behind the times. Jaby still has a few fixed things, such as taking shoes off at the front door, but usually starts by asking whether he's the one who did something wrong, since that gives him some control. Jaby quoted an old friend: if your left shoe keeps wearing out before your right, "the shoes aren't the problem." If Joan hears the same message from friends and boyfriends, such as when she rained on Lynn's pitch, Jaby thinks it might be worth self examining.

Achara agreed everyone evolves but separates peripheral behaviors, like resolving conflict differently or being more patient, from core traits. For Achara, caring deeply about friends and family is non negotiable. Achara added that Joan is kind of right sometimes, and it comes from caring, and that what counts as too much is subjective.

A Marilyn Monroe quote splits us further

Jaby finds the quote "If you can't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" irritating, while noting he doesn't know if Marilyn Monroe actually said it. Jaby would adore someone he truly loves at their worst, but feels starting there is pompous, and recalled an ex who forced open a locked bedroom door to continue a five hour argument.

Achara reads the quote differently, possibly as a difference between men and women, and sees it as meaning that if you can't stand by someone when they're struggling, you don't deserve them at their best. Achara agreed you have to protect your peace, which is why that ex is not Jaby's person. Jaby's final worry is that the quote is stated with such certainty that it ignores the gray area, and that is kind of toxic.

Is Joan too much, or has she just not met the right person yet?