Dragon Ball in 2019: a creator's thank-you after a hard year

At Thanksgiving 2019, I wanted to look back on a year I don't think was a very good one for the Dragon Ball fandom, and to thank the people who stuck with me through it. It was a hard year for me personally, but my core feeling going into 2020 was gratitude.

Last Thanksgiving, I put out a piece called Thank You. I had just closed on a home, I was happy, and I wanted to thank the people who supported me. Without that support, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Thanksgiving is a holiday mired in controversy if you look into its history, but that's a subject for another day. I wanted to take the thankfulness idea and apply it again.

Why I Wanted to Give Thanks to Dragon Ball Fans Again

Being a full time content creator is like any other job. You have good days and bad days at the office. For me, there were quite a few of both, but ultimately I love what I do.

So I wanted to reflect on the previous year and talk about the Dragon Ball community and where we had come from since the last Thanksgiving.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly Was the High Point of 2019

The year started off well, with Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018) coming out outside of Japan. Lots of people wanted to go see it, and most Dragon Ball fans enjoyed it. Even people who didn't like Dragon Ball Super said they liked the movie and that it felt like the Dragon Ball they grew up with.

It was a good dub and a beautifully animated film. It was maybe not the best movie as far as story goes, but it was a lot of fun. Ultimately, when you go see a Dragon Ball movie or show, it's all about how much fun you have.

The 2019 Anime Fandom Split Went to a Different Level

After Broly, 2019 went a bit downhill. There was a lot of controversy and drama in the anime fandom as a whole, and Dragon Ball is part of that. I don't necessarily mean drama involving me. I mean the split in the anime fandom, and it's unfortunate that it came to that.

We've always had debates as fans: Kai versus Z, dub versus sub, Vegeta or Gohan. But this year things went to a different level. I hoped that going into 2020 things would be better for all of us, and that we could get back to being Dragon Ball fans.

My Health Struggles With Trigeminal Neuralgia

In my personal life, I had a lot of problems, mostly with health. Everything else was okay, but my physical and mental health were in dire straits for most of the year.

I talked about it on Twitter. I'd been dealing with trigeminal neuralgia, which is very bad. At times, my motivation for making content wasn't there because I had to focus on my health.

The Dragon Ball Super Return Report and the Backlash

The other thing I had to deal with was the story I broke about Dragon Ball Super coming back. I reported it with the utmost confidence that it was going to come out, based on various well trusted people talking about it. Then it got postponed.

It became a shoot the messenger situation, and I got attacked badly. Is it my fault for reporting on Dragon Ball Super coming back early? Well, maybe. But I thought I was getting the community happy and hyped that we were going to get more. When it didn't happen, it was a big letdown, and I understand why people would be upset. Still, I got attacked more than I ever have since I started in 2015.

I'm good at having thick skin. All I did was report what I was told by various people, and I'm good at sniffing out nonsense. What I reported was not nonsense. There was way too much going on for it to be. But "plans changed and that's just what happens." It's no different than a reporter saying Dwight Howard is going to a team and then he doesn't. I'm not happy about it, but it happens.

I didn't talk about this publicly, but behind the scenes I was having panic attacks. I didn't want people to think I lied to them, which I did not. People who follow me for news trust me, and that trust is something I covet dearly.

Why Dragon Ball Games and Kakarot Left a Void in 2019

Because of the postponement, I feel the fandom had a big void. We had Xenoverse and FighterZ to hold people over. The Heroes game in April came and went. Nobody talked about it for more than a month or two, and it didn't connect with people the way FighterZ and Xenoverse did.

Dokkan and Legends were doing well with new content, and the animations in Dokkan certainly improved. But there wasn't a truly new game. At the end of 2019, Kakarot was due in January, and I thought it would probably hold many people over, but not everybody, because it is a retelling of Dragon Ball Z with a few new things. We've all been very familiar with that story for years.

The Manga's Moro Arc and the Heroes Promo Anime

Beyond that, 2019 didn't give us anything truly new. The manga had some interesting twists and turns with the Moro arc, and I enjoyed covering it, but not everybody likes the manga.

Then there's the Dragon Ball Heroes promo anime, which to me is doing nothing. I cover it out of habit and because I think people want to hear me talk about it, but not many people care, and I'm aware of that. It's a joke. I think people watch it because they want Dragon Ball. It's like an appetizer. Going forward, we didn't know exactly when things would happen or take shape.

Many Dragon Ball Creators Stepped Away, and I Stayed

One eye opening thing was how many content creators stopped doing Dragon Ball discussions. Many moved into games, which is fine, others covered other anime, and some stopped altogether. A lot of them are my friends, and some went through private things and personal demons I won't go into. Some quit, and others I don't even know vanished.

I'm proud to say I was one of the few who stuck around. I created a new series, the transformation guide, with more editions coming. I was also working on another new series, something I believe nobody has done before. It's a big project that I'd been postponing because of its size, and I was a little apprehensive, but I hoped to release it probably in 2020, depending on how things went.

I still had a truckload of topic ideas nobody had discussed in depth. With Dragon Ball Super on the air, my life would be easier, because I could focus on it. Covering legacy content is a lot harder than covering new content. It requires more research and more editing.

The Algorithm, Critics and a Stressful Convention

You'll read comments from people who criticize things like views, sub ratios and CPM without having any idea how it works. Actual creators learn that there are ups and downs, and times you have to hustle to put something together that will hopefully land. But we're all victims of the algorithm. Some channels popping now weren't doing anything a year ago and may not be in two years, and that goes for me too. "The algorithm is ultimately our master," but the community is who I want to please.

I hosted and organized a fan convention and did a lot behind the scenes. It put a lot of stress on me, so I had to stop doing conventions for a while. I'm not involved in the third one at all, and I was able to rest this year.

Self-Doubt and What Fan Support Means to Me

I don't get too personal, though I feel I should more often. The hardcore Dragon Ball fans who live and breathe it are never going away, and it's nice to have them, because I'm like that too. I get burnt out sometimes, and I might not talk about Dragon Ball for the rest of my life, but I'm always going to love it.

Sometimes I feel I'm not worthy of the support. I'm happy where I'm at and with what I bring to the community, but when people attack you, it can flare up your insecurities. I'm good at blocking that out, but once in a while it gets to you. That goes for every creator, whether they tell you or not.

Despite having no Dragon Ball Super anime on TV and the postponement, my audience continued to grow this year. That tells me people still care about what I have to say. "You guys give me purpose," and I can't put into words how much it means to me.

A Moment at the Dragon Ball Super: Broly Screening

When I went to see Dragon Ball Super: Broly in January, I ran into some high school or college guys who recognized me and were happy to see me. I was so moved by how appreciative they were of what I bring to the community that I took them out to eat at Olive Garden.

For someone like me, who has self loathing issues, those things matter. So go out and do something nice for somebody, not only today but the rest of the month, the rest of the year and next year. You don't know how much it might affect someone. You might change their entire perspective.