Avengers vs Evil Superman: Why Earth's Mightiest Heroes Can Hurt Him but Still Lose

Evil Superman beats the Avengers. They do have a way to actually beat him, but they have to catch him first, and I just don't see them being able to do that.

Thor's Stormbreaker could finish Superman with one clean swing

Here's the main crux of this fight. Thor has Stormbreaker, an axe powerful enough to bury itself in Thanos's chest and nearly kill him. So if Superman just stands there and takes a clean swing to the neck, "I'm not convinced he survives that."

Thor isn't alone, either. I'm giving the Avengers their strongest version here. Captain America has Mjolnir, Iron Man has the Mark 85, Hulk is Hulk, and then Hawkeye and Black Widow are, well, they're here too.

Superman's speed and strength mean the Avengers can't catch him

The problem is that Superman is just so incredibly fast and so incredibly strong. Remember when Superman came back to life? Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Cyborg all jumped him at the same time, and Clark was strong enough to overpower all three of them. Then the Flash was there, and while everyone was completely frozen from Barry's perspective, Superman started moving around and began to fight him.

That's the problem for the Avengers. Thor, Hulk, worthy Cap, maybe even Iron Man can all injure Superman. They just can't catch him.

Evil Superman leaves only Hulk and Thor standing

This is evil Superman, so he's not going to be going easy on them. Hawkeye and Black Widow are done in an instant. Superman can catch Iron Man and Captain America just like Thanos did, and it really just ends up being Hulk and Thor.

These two will be way harder to put down and can hang for a while. But Superman is strong enough to bully the entire Justice League, durable enough to just stand there while Steppenwolf is hitting him, and fast enough to keep up with the Flash.

Superman wins because the Avengers can't land their hits

If the Avengers were able to land hits, I could see them pulling out the victory. I just don't see them being able to land hits, and that's the problem here. Superman is definitely powerful enough to beat them, even if it takes a little while with some of the big boys. Superman wins.

Do you think Thor or Hulk could ever land that one clean hit on an evil Superman?